When you’ve been lost as I have,” he once said, “you get good at finding your way home.”Emily Henry, A Million Junes
I am excited about 2020 and would love to get input on what topics most interest you. Your contribution is extremely valuable to me. Please leave a comment or send me a message. Also, if this blog might be meaningful to someone else, please share! Thank you so much.
So many people I talk to are lonely, unhappy, sad, facing difficulties, searching for connections, and have had many hard experiences.
I surely have had my share and will most likely have more.
As I get older, I am realizing more and more that finding joy every day is so essential to a healthy life.
It is freaking hard to find joy when your heart is breaking, and you’re facing something so hard that it nearly breaks you. I have been there so many times and have almost crumbled under the weight.
However, as the days passed and distance crept in, the pain lessened, and those that stayed with me during the pain brought me back to a place of joy.
A very dark time was when my first marriage ended, and I felt like a complete and utter failure.
I blamed myself for his cheating, for maybe not loving him enough, for being more successful in my career, and for many other things.
In my mind, it was all my fault. I put a hard wall around my heart and focused on surviving. It was just breathe and survive.
I had been having health issues when this was happening, was physically and mentally exhausted. So when I found out he was having an affair, I wasn’t in the best place to deal with the full impact of all that was to come next.
His affair was with someone who was married too, and we had gone out several times with them as couples. I am not sure what was worse, the feeling of failure or the betrayal.
And then, as we were separated and received the divorce decree, 30 days later, he died. In a tragic event that left me bereft for the once lover, husband and friend. He was 33. He was taken too soon and I could never work through the pain we caused each other that last year. How we went from being so young and optimistic, best friends, to 10 years later not only divorced, but he was completely gone from this world.
I was so angry with God. I was angry with myself. I was just angry and sad and lost. So very lost.
Through the dark, my friends circled close. Held me when I cried. Reminded me of the good times. Reminded me of my worth.
God had a different plan. I meet a wonderful man during all this … he waited patiently as I grieved. As I faced the pain. As I worked through my emotions and self worth. He held my hand and just provided support and stability.
Time heals us …
– 5 years to find my faith again.
– 7 years later that man became my husband.
– Today I am a stronger person then I ever thought I could be.
Our experiences define us …
There have been lots of other stuff that has also been devastating, but the lessons I learned from the earlier trials, have brought me to make it a mission, to find joy everyday.
The battles are real and hard and frightening. However, joy is also there if you let it in. If you let those that truly love you in and let them help you.
I used to bottle stuff up, as I didn’t want to bother anyone with my troubles. It was so hard. I had the stiff upper lip and pull it up by the bootstraps mentality. I had to learn I wasn’t a burden and friends help friends.
As you look at yourself remember you are exactly who you should be for where you are now and tomorrow is going to be the next step in your journey.
Sailing rough seas…
Some tips for sailing the rough seas:
– Share the pain with others. Let them have the opportunity to hold your hand.
– Accept where you are, and that it’s okay. We all have deep emotions we have to work through.
– It’s okay to cry and sob. It’s human and normal. Big girls and boys do cry.
– Breathe, just breathe and move with the emotions.
– Make sure you get enough sleep.
This year I continue to be focused on helping others rise through the ashes of life.
To help you stand back up and look destiny in the eyes and know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
To remain balanced and optimistic and working to accept who you are in life.
We all get lost, we ver off course, we struggle through challenges. Together we can help each other thrive.
Rise to who you are meant to be and Shine Brightly.